It’s Tuesday, so that means I am linking up with Patty, Erika & Marsha for Tuesday’s on the Run.  This week’s topic is “Rate your November,” which is pretty hard for me since my entire 2017 has been basically a ZERO! I thought I would share my latest set back…

I did not realize how emotional it was going to be to hold this bib in my hand…

A week prior to this moment,  I had finally conceded that I needed to listen to my body when it told me that I could not go from 0 to 13.1 in 3 months and made the decision that I would pull myself from runDisney’s Wine & Dine Half Marathon.  My return #home to Walt Disney World was now slightly altered, taking out that ungodly 2:30 am wake-up call on Sunday morning and of course that little thing that equaled in 13.1 miles a few hours later.  

Persistent, that little voice in my head, tried her best to make me change my mind. I am not a quitter and when I say I am going to do something, I usually do at least when it comes to challenging myself to do the impossible, like finishing 17 half marathons with this pooh shaped body.  I knew if I listened to her that I could be looking at prolonging my full recovery from my running injuries even longer and continue to feel #defeated enough to the point of giving up altogether (which I had been edging closer to and closer to with each passing doctor’s appointment).  

Friday night prior to the race, Persistent was silenced by a self-absorbed fellow airline passenger who decided that she needed off of the airplane before 50 other people in front of her, one which I happened to be and had I known she was prepared to tackle anyone in her way I would have let her by.  Just as I stepped out into the aisle, she came barreling through knocking me back into my seat with my ankle going one direction, my knee going another and my torso yet another way.  The stabbing pain that shot from my calf to my hip left me breathless. It took the rest of the passengers getting off before my stubborn  prideful streak could take control of the pain and I was able to muster enough strength to hobble slowly to baggage claim while the entire holding back the tears.  When was safely alone and behind the closed door of my room at POP Century did I allowed the pain and fear take over, allowing myself to cry some very ugly tears.  

This was the same leg that when I decided to try my first runDisney event developed (and still does occasionally) the worst shin splints possible, resulting in a stress fracture 3 months prior to the race (but I was able to overcome and still finish the Tower of Terror 10-Miler).  This was same leg that I had been my demise the previous year’s Wine & Dine Half 3-Course Challenge and that I had struggled with trying to heal the partially torn achilles and eliminate the achilles tendonitis over the last year.  This was the same leg whose hip had developed bursitis because I tried to get ready for a half marathon in 3 months due to being burdened the 9 months prior with a boot.  And now my knee….UNCLE! I was not sure what I was going to do at that moment just to walk, but hoped a hot soak followed by a lot of ice and a handful of pain-killers along with a night’s sleep would allow the cry clouds to depart to sunny skies.

By morning, I was not doing any better in fact the lack of moving during the night allowed the stiffness to settle in. I had planned this to be the #bestdayever and despite the pain and inability to maneuver, it was NOT going to turn into #worstdayever.  I had no time for this as I went ahead with my park plans before I made my way to the race expo to packet pick up telling my stubborn self, I just needed to walk it out. However back in my room as I held that bib in my hand reality of the situation set in as wave of #hopelessness washed over me and broke down. Would I ever finish a half marathon again? Would I be able to complete that full marathon goal I had set for myself the year I turned 50? I had healed a stress fracture and partially torn achilles, still dealing with resting from the bursitis, but could I handle a knee injury too or was I asking too much from this almost 50 year old pooh sized body?  Who knew a simple bib would stir up such emotion?  

Sleep did not come easy that night once again, however I still got my early morning wake up call, only I did not head for the starting line via runDisney transportation.  Instead I was headed to the nearest urgent care clinic open at that time as a passenger in a concerned Cast Member’s private vehicle.  There was no fabulous runDisney bling at the end of my trip, but shot of cortisone to get me through the next week.

I returned home with the pain medication wearing off and I prepared myself for an MRI, wondering if #defeated & #hopelessness will continue to plague me or if persistent and stubborn will find a way to run that next race. The results came back, indicating what I knew…a hyper-extended knee and thankfully only a few microscopic tears that would heal on the condition I torture myself with another round of RICE (resting, icing, compressing and elevating the knee) for 6-8 weeks and that included ALL forms of exercise including pool jogging.

Two weeks into yet another imposed RICE session my only goal is to listen to the doctor, which continues to get harder and harder as I watch the training days slip away from me once again.  Hopefully I will be cleared just around the time 2018 appears on the calendar and I can begin tackling (slowly) that goal of a full marathon before I turn 51 because I certainly do not want to hold a bib in my hand that I can only look at through tears and disappointment.  Hopefully 2018 will be better…